You're The Funny Little Frog In My Throat
by EvilEatingSanta
Summary: Little snapshots of life as seen through the eyes of our two lovely boys, Max and Jude. Max/Jude; intended 2-shot. Title is a song by Belle and Sebastian. Rated T for language.
1. Break On Through

Hello. I started this a while back, and originally it was intended to be a one-shot... But I'm stuck where I'm at in writing it right now, so I decided to stick it up here just to see how it's received. :-)

Also, this will be no longer than 2 chapters. I suck at keeping up long-running stories. If you need an example, check out any one of my other stories... Haha... As they have most likely not been updated for over a year.

Enjoy!

**P.S.** this takes place after Max and Jude move to New York City, early in the summer before Lucy shows up.

**Disclaimer:** _Across the Universe _does not belong to me. It's true. I haven't even bought the DVD yet. Also, _Me & Bobby McGee_ is a real song by Janis Joplin (duh), which I also do not own. Also also, the phrase "...say the darndest things" is not mine. And, just to clear up any confusion, The Doors is also a real band. I do not own them, though I do own some of their CDs... I steal lots of shit.

* * *

"I…am a taxi driver."

"…are you sure this time?" Jude smiles up at me, the end of a paintbrush shoved in his mouth.

"Shut up. That guy had a twisted sense of humor, and you know it." Jude chews on the end of his paintbrush for a moment, before shrugging.

"When do you start?" he asks, changing the subject with only a slight smile to acknowledge the previous conversation.

"Tomorrow," I reply, stretching before tossing myself into the nearest chair.

"I'll get a job soon," Jude says after a moment.

"Don't worry about it, man," I reassure him, waving a hand through the air. "Do your art shit."

"Yeah, but the rent…"

I leave his sentence dangling in the air, unfinished.

"Don't worry about it."

I glance around the apartment, noting the unusual silence.

"Where is everybody?"

Jude says something under his breath that I don't quite catch, but I'm too tired to care. Besides, my roommate is incorrigible when he's got that whole "creative flow" thing going.

Whatever the hell that is.

Don't get me wrong, Jude's a swell guy. Any situation that makes silence mandatory, however, is not something I tend to associate myself with.

I strip to my boxers in the kitchen as I rummage through the fridge for something to eat. The cool air hits me and feels nice against my sweat soaked skin. July in New York City is the worst.

I grab an apple and head back the way I came, kicking my discarded clothing on the floor in front of me to my and Jude's room.

I'm not lazy. I conserve energy.

What can I say, I love the environment.

Once back in my room, I kick my sweaty interview clothes in the corner before grabbing a button down white shirt and my favorite corduroy pants before reconsidering. Corduroy is way too warm for a day like today. I go with my light brown cotton pants instead. They haven't been washed in a while but…oh well.

"I'm going out," I announce to no one in particular before shutting the door to the outside hallway behind me. I toss the apple once in the air before biting into it, the sudden cold making my teeth ache.

No wonder Sadie's apartment is so damn hot, I think to myself, looking down the stairwell.

We're the fucking 9th floor.

* * *

Nothing seems to affect Max the way it affects everybody else. That's the first thing I noticed about him. He and I may go through the same schedule, see and hear the exact same things, and yet at the end of the day our stories about the previous twenty-four hours would be completely different.

Of course, that would probably be because he made up half of what he said happened, just to make it funnier or more interesting.

Max makes it seem so simple, living a mundane life, going from day to day without a care in the world.

Well, I think, smirking, maybe "mundane" is too critical a word.

Max is everything but mundane.

"Hey."

I jump when I hear Prudence's voice, smiling as I look up from my latest drawing. I didn't hear her come in.

"Hello hello," I respond, slumping back in my seat, grimacing when I hear my neck crack, "how are you?"

"Fine," she says, twirling her fingers around her long dark hair, "Hey, have you seen Sadie?"

"No, not since yesterday…" I trail, tapping my fingers on the table. "Why?"

"Nothing, really. Do you think she'd let me keep a cat in here?" Prudence continues, sitting herself on the stool to my left.

"I'm…not sure," I confess, raising my eyebrows at the Ohioan, "She's got one running around here already. I doubt she'd care, as long as it stays out of her stuff."

"Right… This is really neat," Prudence says, tapping the drawing I've been working on all night.

"Thanks."

We sit together for a moment, both looking at my drawing of propaganda's propaganda. It's a concept Max and I came up with one night while sitting in our room high out of our minds and trying to read the latest newspaper.

Needless to say, it seemed more genius stoned.

"Anyway, I'd better split," Prudence announces, getting up off of the bar stool. "I'll catch up with you later, Jude."

"Yeah, see ya." I wave to the small girl as she exits the apartment once again.

Left alone, to my own devices. Only me… and this drawing.

I crumple it up and throw it in the corner before standing up and making my way to the bed.

I crash as soon as my head hits the pillow.

* * *

"I tell you, the man lives like a hermit," I proclaim, grabbing JoJo by the arm and dragging him into my room. "Look at this! He stays up all night, sleeps all day, and communicates with grunts and angry gestures."

"Leave the boy alone, Max," JoJo responds, pulling away from me and heading towards the door. I open my mouth to protest before shutting it again, turning to look at the lump that has taken up residence in my bed.

The most I've seen of Jude in the past few days has been this picture; his messy hair and his bare feet sticking out from opposite ends of the comforter. He's barely spoken a word to me since yesterday morning.

I decide to change that.

"Jude," I say, my voice dry. I clear my throat and try again. "…Jude, hey, man wake up." I watch as life stirs underneath the covers, my roommate slowly waking up making me smile as he pulls the comforter tighter around his body, choosing to ignore me.

"Max? What time is it?" he mumbles, his voice groggy and annoyed.

"Two in the afternoon," I reply, fishing in my pocket for a pack of cigarettes. "And you, my friend, have been asleep for how long?"

"Right…" Jude yawns, sitting up in bed and stretching. He lets his back lean against the wall as he rubs the sleep from his eyes.

"Anyway, Teddy's got a space picked out down on 11th Ave, and we're all going down to watch his performance," I continue, falling onto the bed next to Jude. "From what I hear, it's going to be quite the thriller." Jude snorts and shakes his head.

"You're joking," he says, digging in his jeans pocket and pulling out a lighter after noticing my unsuccessful search for the very same one in my pocket.

"Thank you," I mumble, lighting my cigarette before putting the lighter in my pocket, "and no, I wish I were. Theodore is very excited to dress up in heels and a short skirt. His skit is terrible, but… cheap laughs for cheap entertainment, I suppose."

"God…" Jude mumbles, pressing his fingertips to his forehead. "When does it start?"

"In about an hour. Which is why I kindly woke you up," I say grinning, standing up from the bed, "I wouldn't want you to miss this. Women's rights are _so_ comedic, wouldn't you agree?"

"Shit," Jude laughs, moving to sit on the edge of the bed, "Let's just hope we're the only one's who show."

"Oh no," I reply, stepping towards the door, "My dear friend, Teddy has advertised this wherever he can stick adhesive tape. Look around, man. His posters are everywhere. Teddy's going to be bigger than Lenny Bruce...or maybe Professor Unwin. Anyway, Sadie's hoping that he'll get his ass kicked so badly he'll leave New York." I pause and hold my hands up, crossing my middle fingers with my index fingers. I turn around and push the door open, leaving Jude to get ready for Ted's performance.

"Hey, Teddy," I say, my heart pounding in my chest when I realize the aspiring comedian was sitting not twenty feet from where I was talking about him with Jude, "ready for the big gig?"

"Yes, Maxy," Theodore deadpans, and I choke on a laugh. "Are you ready to have your mind blown?"

"…right, well. I'll be back to collect Jude later. See you after the performance," I choke out, hearing the laughter in my own voice.

Christ, he is strange. Teddy found us one sad, forgotten afternoon in the spring. He'd just moved to the city from Canada, and we were looking for somebody to rent out the room I had inhabited once Paul moved out.

I don't like holding grudges. Teddy's kind of the exception.

After spending months cooped up in that tiny space with Jude, I finally had my own room. And now it's been taken from me. He's such a fucking moron, but at the time we needed help with the rent, so Sadie had to let him move in.

She's not too picky when it comes to who's living in her apartment, as long as they're paying their share of rent, and it was this mentality that resulted in Ted.

I cast a sidelong glance over my shoulder, watching as he tucks the legs of his Ivy Leaguers into his rain boots.

I smirk as I pull the door to the hallway open, confident that I will have my room by midnight.

* * *

"I don't think he's all that bad," I say, defending the man whose performance we're on our way to see. Max and I walk down the sidewalk, side by side, dodging puddles from the recent rainfall.

"Jude, shit man, are you kidding?" Max asks incredulously, his eyes shining brightly. "He is the reason babies cry at night. He is the reason puppies die and flowers wilt. Ted is horrible." Max grins when he hears me sigh, knowing that I'm holding back laughter.

"He hates it when you call him that, you know," I continue. "He's not so bad if you tried to get along. He's actually pretty interesting."

"You're lucky, man," Max says, taking a swig of his root beer. "He hates me. I can't do anything without him _there_, watching me and commenting on it. It's sad, the way he takes himself so seriously…"

"Oh, leave him alone. You're just jealous that he gets a room all to himself, and you have to share with me," I laugh, watching as Max shakes his head, smiling.

"Not true. Don't get me wrong, you're a swell guy, Jude but…whoa. Check out the skirt." Max is quickly side-tracked, his attention lost on me by a tall brunette walking down the sidewalk towards us. He grows quiet as she walks by, smiling at her and nodding his head in greeting before turning around and walking backwards as soon as she passes us to watch her retreat. He whistles his approval. She ignores him.

"Nice, very nice," he sighs, turning back around. "I swear coming to New York is the best decision I've ever made."

"That's saying a lot," I scoff, smirking when he hits me lightly in the arm.

"Shut up. Oh look!" he exclaims enthusiastically, though his tone is sarcastic, "It's Teddy! Teddy, over here!"

And he's off. I stay behind, watching as my quirky roommate runs up to the man he hates and hugs him tightly, planting a kiss on the side of his face. Ted pushes Max off of him, swearing at him for being such an idiot.

I smile as I walk towards the two, wishing Ted good luck before his big performance.

"It's 'break-a-leg' in the show business," he sniffs, fixing his collar.

Max and I exchange a look. This should be good.

* * *

Our lives never really had any sense to them. There wasn't any logical sequence of things, no order with which we used to approach our days. Some days we would wake up at 4 PM and eat breakfast later that night, and other days started at 8 AM. Sometimes I'd spend the day in a hung-over stupor, which happened more often than not. It seemed as if the one constant in my life was Max, and knowing that he would, inevitably, show up by my side at some point during the day, that ridiculous grin plastered on his face.

"Freedom's just another word for… nothin' left to lose! Nothin'…don't mean nothin', honey, if it ain't free, now now…" I smirk when I hear the door open and Max's voice coming from the other room, quickly followed by the man himself as he sings his way into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Janis," I smirk, "What are you up to?"

"Morning?" he asks, dropping his Janis Joplin impression, "you, my friend, would be obviously unemployed to a blind man. It's the middle of the afternoon."

"Oh," I say, glancing at the clock above the stove.

"Hey, feeling good was good enough for me… hmm hmm…Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee…" Max sings under his breath, going through the mail, "Hey, you got a letter," he says, and I snap my head up.

"What?" I don't exist in the United States, legally. Who could have…?

"Nah, just fucking with you, man," Max snorts, turning around to open the fridge.

"Jesus, Max," I mutter, rolling my eyes as I turn back to the crossword puzzle that had been previously amusing me until Max got home.

"I know, I'm horrible. Want to go give lives to some people down in Central Park? The weather's awesome," he asks, switching gears completely as he grabs an orange out of the fridge. "Plus I hear some girls are walking around topless as a sort of protest."

"Topless, as in…?"

"Completely topless," Max clarifies, tossing half of the now peeled orange at me.

"Sounds good," I agree, standing up to follow him.

* * *

Lying in the grass next to Max, I listen as he tells me about the old man feeding pigeons.

"He's a decorated ex-military war hero, from World War I," Max begins, staring up at the sky, "In his spare time he likes to…"

"Feed the birds?" I venture, a slight sarcastic tone to my voice.

"Tuppence a bag, and no, very funny," Max chastises, kicking my foot from where he's lying, "He now spends his spare time lying in the grass with an ungrateful friend, attempting to unwind a little after a hard days work as an underpaid, overworked taxi driver."

"So, he's a pothead," I say, grinning at Max.

"Yeah, pretty much," Max concedes, and I look over in time to see his eyelids fall shut.

"What time did you go into work this morning?" I ask, watching as he adjusts to get more comfortable.

"Seven…" he trails, sighing, "Let me tell you, long fucking day, man."

"What, you got an hour of sleep?" I press, surprised. We went to bed at six earlier this morning, after Ted's performance and the celebration party that soon followed its end; Ted left New York City, claiming everyone here was soulless and without a sense of humor.

"Mm, didn't sleep," Max mumbles, "Your turn."

"What?"

"Your turn, the game, give someone a life," he explains, bringing his hands up to cradle the back of his head.

"Okay…" I start, going into intense detail about the young girl standing with her parents and older brother, how she will flee the country at age 16 in order to experience life on her own. It ends with her joining The Doors as a coked up 18 year old, only to have them leave her behind in a washroom where she had forced them to pull over so that she could empty her stomach of the previous 24 hours.

I'm not very good at this game.

I look over to find Max sleeping.

"It wasn't _that_ boring…" I say, expecting him to open his eyes and grin, reassuring me that it was. When he doesn't, however, I realize he's actually asleep.

I sigh as I redirect my gaze to the sky, watching as lazy clouds hang in the less-than-blue vastness. A slight breeze blows through the trees, giving me goosebumps. Max was right, though; it's a beautiful day.

I turn my head towards Max, watching as he breathes in and out, his lips slightly parted. I reach over to brush a stray strand of dirty blond hair out of his face when my hand lingers. I feel my heart racing in my chest as I realize that Max, for a guy, isn't half bad looking.

In fact, I have no trouble seeing why so many girls have fallen for my best mate.

I quickly pull my hand away when Max stirs, my heart pounding in my throat now, a blush darkening my face. Suddenly it's too warm.

* * *

"You know, Sadie. I was thinking the other day that there is something missing in this apartment. And then it hit me; oxygen." I sit on the edge of the table, my feet resting in the chair in front of me. Jude stands to my right and we both watch as Sadie rushes to prepare herself a quick supper before meeting up with some friends at Café Huh.

"Oxygen? What the hell are you talking about, Max?"

"No, wait. Just hear me out," I plead, smiling and holding my hands up. "I can't _breathe_ up here, man. And then I thought what better way to get oxygen up here than to bring in some potted plants? Sadie, I think we should grow some life up here. Better yet, usable life. How about some pot?"

"I think it's a stellar idea," Jude says quickly, an easy smile on his face.

"Well, _thank _you, Jude. I always knew I could count on your vote," I reply, throwing an arm around his shoulder. I turn back to Sadie, who's looking at me with an eyebrow raised, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Cute, Max," Sadie sighs, sounding annoyed, though she's smiling.

"I know. Drug addicts say the darndest things," I say, grinning.

"Who say the darndest things?" Prudence asks, entering the conversation from the other room.

"Drug addicts," I reply.

"Oh," Prudence says, not really paying attention to me as she exits the kitchen just as quickly as she entered.

"So, how about it, Sade?" I question, turning back to our landlady.

"You think I care? As long as you don't start a business in my living room, and as long as I still get my rent, you could start a meth lab for all I care."

"Thank you, Sadie! You're the best," I say enthusiastically, jumping up from the table and grabbing Jude by the sleeve of his shirt, dragging him towards the door. "You won't regret it!"

"I already do," she chuckles, shaking her head slowly.

* * *

"What are you doing?" I ask, walking into the kitchen and seeing Max standing on tiptoes.

"I'm thinking about taking up ballet…" he replies, glancing at me over his shoulder.

"No you're not," I chuckle.

"You're right," he says, holding a glass bowl in his hand that he'd retrieved from the top of the refrigerator.

"What's that for?" I ask, sidling up to my friend as he begins to scrub at the dusty bowl in the kitchen sink.

"Who is this for, Jude. Who, not what," he corrects, grinning when he notices the confused look on my face.

I decide not to question him as he takes to his task without another word. I perch myself on the counter next to the sink and watch as Max dutifully cleans away the grime, his brow furrowed as he bites his lower lip in concentration. He grips a sponge between soapy fingers, swearing under his breath when his finger catches on a jagged part of the bowl.

He pulls his hands out of the water, scrutinizing the scratch before plunging them back into the murky water.

Max breaks for a moment to scratch his jaw, and I choke on a laugh when he pulls his hand away and leaves soap suds behind.

"Here," I say, wiping the bubbles off of his cheek with my thumb, "You know, doing the dishes is a very difficult chore. If you need help, just say so…"

"Thanks, but I've got it under control," Max deadpans, rolling his eyes at me.

"Oh I'm not so sure about that. I remember my first time doing the dishes…" I tease, laughing when he throws some suds at me.

"Quiet," he snaps, smiling.

"I think it's clean enough," I whine, leaning back and knocking my head against the cupboard.

"Yeah, alright. The suspense is killing you," he guesses, flashing me another brilliant smile.

"No, no it's not that…" I trail, hopping off of the counter to follow him into the other room as he towel dries the bowl, "I'm just wondering what could possibly be worth ignoring supper for."

"Ah, shit," Max says, turning around, "I'm sorry, I forgot." I smirk and shake my head.

"No worries, mate," I sigh, seeing him turn back around, "This had better be bloody good, though."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that… Stay there," Max commands, and I comply. I watch as my roommate sets the bowl on the floor before picking something up out of a grocery bag.

"Jude," Max begins, turning around to face me while holding something behind his back, "meet Hamilton."

I stare as a small plastic bag is held dangling in front of my face, with a little goldfish swimming around inside.

"It's a goldfish?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"No, Jude, it's not a _gold_fish… It's a peacefish! Some people were selling 'em down on Fifth Ave. I'd say that's a nickel well spent, wouldn't you?" Max looks expectantly at me.

"…for fuck sake, Max," I mumble, my mouth twisting up into a smile, "gone a little barmy, have you?"

"Fuck you, man," Max grins, shoving me back towards the door, "he'll grow on you."

"Sounds good. I'm going to supper," I laugh, "You coming?"

"Yeah, yeah in a bit. I've gotta get Hamilton's bowl set up first, though," he explains when I glare at him, and then reaches into his back pocket, "Here, to curb your enthusiasm for Hammy."

I catch what Max tosses at me, and grin when I see what the small baggie holds.

"There, that's more like it," I say, making my way back into the room and falling onto the bed, "Is this from your plant?"

"That? No, the plant, um, died," Max admits, shrugging, "Could never remember to water the damn thing…"

"Oh, well. Good luck with your fish." Max mutters something as he picks up the bowl and his fish. I watch as he walks away towards the bathroom, clutching the bowl under one arm.

I sigh as I look back up at the ceiling, feeling the familiar tightness in my chest, the way my heart pounds in my throat. For the past week, every time I see Max, talk with him, joke around with him, my reaction has been the same.

I wonder for how much longer this, whatever this is, will go by unnoticed.

* * *

**Questions/Comments/Concerns?**

Let me know if the switching POV gets confusing... I try to make it obvious by mentioning names within the first few sentences, but as the author it's difficult for me to see when things don't make sense...because I wrote it. It makes sense in my brain, I promise!!

I hope you liked it! If you did, I should be posting the next chapter fairly shortly here... So keep in touch.


	2. Jump! Go Ahead and Jump!

Here is the last installment of _Funny Little Frog_... I hope you all enjoy it. :-)

Also, for no reason...

If you have seen _The Ruins_ then this little blurb will make sense to you. I wrote it after I saw that...interesting film, and well. As I've said, if you've seen it, then go ahead and read on. It doesn't have anything to do with the story so don't feel obligated:

_"Jude, pick me up a carton of cigarettes on your way home, will ya?" I whine from the couch, watching as my best friend glares at me from across the room._

_"You have a cold," he sighs, rolling his eyes, "you're not handicapped."_

_"Handicapable, Jude."_

_"Capable or not, you've got two legs," the Brit continues, laughing, "use 'em."_

Hee hee... Oh Joe Anderson. Anyway. Story time, gather round kiddies!!

**Disclaimer:** _Across the Universe _does not belong to me. It's true. I haven't even bought the DVD yet.

* * *

If there's one thing I hate more than anything, it's feeling hung over.

I wake up uncomfortably warm and light headed, my eyes slowly cracking open only to fall back shut. Arms, legs, fingers, toes… I'm all here. I'm sometimes amazed that I haven't lost a limb yet during one of our drunken escapades.

Jude lies next to me, and I wonder why I never made it to my bed. No wonder it's so warm… The Brit is like a damn furnace. Which can be nice in the winter, but in the summer…

I push Jude's arm off of my chest and clumsily untangle our legs before standing up, the world spinning around me. I shakily make my way across the room, my stomach aching.

Once in the kitchen, I begin to pour myself a bowl of cereal before deciding that's too much work. I grab the box and stumble back into Jude's room, my arms feeling impossibly heavy as I tumble back into bed, my head smacking the wall on my way down.

"Ow, fuck," I mumble, wincing as I situate myself. Jude says something.

"What?" I ask, leaning closer to him as he repeats himself.

"I said could you keep it down?"

"Oh, I'm fine, thanks. Don't worry, it's only a concussion. I'll be back on my feet in no time."

I watch as Jude slowly reconciles himself to waking up, his half-lidded eyes glaring at me. I move my legs from where they'd previously been dangling over Jude's so that he can sit up, his body slumping next to where mine is propped up against the wall.

I shove a handful of Kix into my mouth before offering Jude some of the sugary cereal.

"How do you feel?" Jude asks, popping one piece of cereal into his mouth.

"Hung over," I reply, shoving another handful into my mouth, "shitty. You?"

"Fine," he answers, stretching his arms out in front of him, "Although I wasn't the one who ended the night on a tequila shot contest with JoJo."

"Oh. Who won again?"

"JoJo."

Right," I mumble, watching as Jude lights a cigarette out of the corner of my eye. A moment passes before I steal a drag from Jude's cig, handing it back to him as I exhale.

"I have to work in a few hours," I grumble, crossing my legs Indian style and wrapping my arms around my stomach. I lean forward over my knees, letting my hair fall around my face. Fucking miserable…

Suddenly I feel Jude's warm hand on my back, and I nearly jump at the contact. Jude rubs my back, his hand moving in slow circles as we sit together in silence. I begin to breathe in time with Jude, letting my eyelids fall shut. My spinning world becomes stable, the sharp pain in my stomach fades as I concentrate on Jude's warmth.

I'm almost asleep, slumped over my lap, when I hear Jude inhale sharply, cursing under his breath.

"Sorry, I dropped my cigarette," he apologizes, and I sit back up, stretching my arms above my head. My back cracks.

I hear Jude shifting around behind me, a shiver running down my spine when I feel his breath on the back of my neck. I hear him light another cigarette.

After a moment, Jude's hands press against my lower back.

"Do you want me to stop, or…?" he asks, his voice catching.

"Well shit, Jude," I chuckle, though my voice sounds strained, "you won't hear me complaining."

Jude tugs at my shirt and I look back at him, his hair messy and a cigarette dangling from his lips that are twisted up into a smirk.

"You're going to have to get a little bit closer, mate," he says, mimicking the way I'm sitting as he crosses his legs in front of him.

I slide back and immediately his hands are on my back and shoulders, making my breath catch in my throat. Jude presses against my back, rubbing at the tightness in my muscles. I let my head fall forward, wondering what I did to receive Jude's undivided attention like this.

Whatever I did, it was certainly worth it because Jude is _really_ fucking good at giving back rubs…

After a few minutes, I feel myself growing tired again. My eyelids grow heavy, and I sit up straight to try and wake myself back up. I shake my head and blink a few times, wondering what time it is.

"You good?" Jude asks, pulling his hands back to himself.

"Yeah, thanks," I yawn, moving to slump against the wall. I feel Jude pull his arm out of the way to make room for me when, instead, he wraps his arm around my shoulders. Jude pulls me into him, moving his arm down so that his hand rests on my hip.

Stunned and slightly confused, I try to sit back up but find that Jude's grip on me is stronger than I originally thought. I take a deep breath and try instead to relax. The hand on my hip is shaking slightly, and when I glance up Jude is staring raptly at the smoke from his cigarette.

I close my eyes when Jude's gaze shifts from the smoke to me, and my heart skips a beat when I feel my best friend's lips brush against the top of my head. Strangely, this doesn't wig me out half as much as I would've expected it to.

Warm, tired, hung over and relaxed, I quickly fall asleep, my head pressed to Jude's chest where his heart is beating way too quickly.

* * *

I probably shouldn't have done that.

I take a drag off of my cigarette, my heart still racing in my chest. I can't help but think that Max's reaction to my kissing him was…better than I could have hoped for. Sure, he was half asleep, and yeah, I didn't exactly _kiss_ him, but still…

Max stirs slightly, and I look down to where he's curled up next to me, his face buried in my chest. He breathes in and out slowly, his hot breath against my neck driving me crazy. I tighten my grip on him and lean my cheek against the top of his head.

I could live with this.

I sigh and stretch my legs out in front of me, the irrational hope that perhaps Max and I could start something edging its way into my mind. I know it's unlikely, probably impossible, but tonight certainly didn't crush any hope of Max and I…

My heart jumps into my throat, and I look down at Max. There's no doubt I'm attracted to him, and I think, in a way, I have been since I first met him. Something drew me to him when I first saw him rushing through the campus at Princeton. I could have approached anyone else to ask them what I needed to know, and yet I didn't. I continued wandering around the foreign university until I saw Max, and for some reason asking him was as simple as helping him pick up his papers. Talking with Max came naturally; there were never any awkward pauses where neither of us knew what to say.

I pause in my thoughts to examine my best friend, his pink lips slightly parted, his hair falling into his face. He hasn't shaved in a few days, and there are shadows underneath his closed eyes. He never gets enough sleep, proudly proclaiming that he'll "sleep when he's dead".

I smile, feeling content for the first time in a few weeks. Max's hipbone juts into my hand from underneath his thin t-shirt, and I lean down to kiss his forehead.

He should eat more.

* * *

I grab my jacket and am out the door in seconds flat. I just woke up minutes ago, but already I'm late for work. The fact that I woke up basically on top of Jude doesn't help my state of being, either.

He kissed me. Jude fucking _kissed_ me. And sure, okay, that's not such a big deal because I won't lie and say we've never kissed before. But before today alcohol or drugs have always been involved in any type of sexual interaction between Jude and I. Before today, Jude was my clearly defined best friend. Before today, I'd never considered him as anything else.

Goddammit.

I rush down the stairs, practically tripping over myself as I near the bottom. I push open the door and run down the sidewalk towards the cab company that I work for, knowing that I've already received multiple warnings about my tardiness. Hopefully they can forgive one more. Or else Linda had better be acting manager. I can charm amnesty out of her, at least.

I continue jogging, thoughts of Jude running through my mind. Did I do something stupid last night? Is that what this is about?

My heart skips a beat when I think about what I could have done to Jude during a blackout night. That's it, I give up alcohol.

Okay, so I don't, but still what the fuck did I do to make Jude start acting like that? Does it matter?

I turn the corner and head into the office, preparing myself for a lecture on being "punctual".

"Max!"

"Oh thank God," I breathe, looking up to find Linda staring at me through her glasses.

"What kept you?" she asks, smirking at me out of breath.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," I reply, giving her my best smile, "it's been a rough day, huh?"

"Alright, alright, I don't have time to deal with you today, Mr. Carrigan," she laughs, turning back to her paperwork, "Just clock in and I'll let you keep your job."

"Thanks, Lin," I sigh, lifting my shirt to wipe the sweat off of my face. I smirk when I let my shirt drop back down, noticing that Linda has not failed to notice.

I quickly clock in and go back outside, grabbing the keys to my cab on the way out.

My mind spins with thoughts of Jude, of the way he pulled me tightly to him, the feeling of his hands on my back, his lips brushing against my hair. The Brit's soft voice and accent, his breath washing over my neck.

My heart pounds quickly in my chest, and suddenly I'm excited for my shift to end.

* * *

I drag myself up the nine flights of stairs, exhausted after seven hours of driving angry tourists to popular locations.

My heart starts to beat faster as I near our floor, with thoughts of earlier today and only a vague idea as to what I'm actually going to do once I open the door going through my mind. I've run the scenario through a dozen times in my brain during the course of my day, but I still have no clue what I'm going to say to Jude.

I pull the door open and walk into the apartment, listening for Sadie or JoJo or anybody, but the apartment is silent. I kick my shoes off and walk towards Jude's room, finding that empty as well.

Ah, shit. Sadie's playing a gig tonight. I forgot.

I walk into the kitchen and stop when I see Jude leaning against the wall, a glass in his left hand.

"Whatcha got there?" I ask, walking across the kitchen and opening the fridge.

"Orange juice," Jude says, and I feel his eyes on my back.

"Why didn't you go to Sadie's gig?" I continue, shutting the fridge and moving to lean against the kitchen table, across from Jude.

"I was going to, but I fell asleep after you left and…" Jude pauses and glances up at me, "by the time I woke up, they were already gone."

"Oh," I say, my heart pounding in my throat.

"Listen, Max," Jude starts, and I grip the back of the chair next to me, "a…about what happened… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"

"Don't worry about it, Jude," I interrupt, watching as Jude leans forward and sets his glass of orange juice on the table.

"Still, I… I wanted to make sure that we're okay. I don't want there to be any… strangeness between us," he says, and I quickly shake my head.

"No, man," I quickly say, barely able to keep this up, "it's totally fine." Jude looks up at me, his eyebrows furrowed as he tries to figure out the tone in my voice.

"Okay, well," he sighs, giving me a smile, "I just wanted to make sure. Do you want to go catch the last hour or so of Sadie's gig?"

"No," I say, smirking when Jude turns to look at me, a confused look on his face. I press myself away from the table and into Jude, pushing him sharply into the wall. Fuck our clearly defined friendship. "We're not going anywhere."

"Max?" Jude says nervously, his eyes wide.

"Jude, I…" I begin to say, but quickly give up on words when I feel Jude's hands gripping my waist, when I see the hopeful look lighting his face as I slide my hand up his chest to rest on the back of his neck.

I smirk at Jude before tugging him down into a kiss. Jude inhales sharply as I press myself closer to him, our bodies flush against each other now as his grip on me tightens.

"Max," Jude breathes once I pull away, thoroughly satisfied with the way my best friend's lips feel against mine, "you don't have to…"

I brush my lips up against Jude's to make him be quiet, feeling him smile as he moves his hands up to cup my cheeks. He presses away from the wall, walking me backwards until my ass hits the table. In one motion, Jude slides his hands back down my sides and lifts me up onto the table, his hands gripping the backs of my thighs as I wrap my legs around his stomach.

I deepen the kiss, our lips meeting hungrily as I pull Jude closely to me, his hands sliding underneath the hem of my t-shirt. I twist my fingers into Jude's hair, my breath coming in short gasps now as he lifts my shirt up to my chest, breaking the kiss briefly in order to finish pulling it over my head.

Once my shirt is tossed halfway across the room, Jude pulls me back to him, his hands running all over my back and shoulders. I rest my wrists on Jude's shoulders, cradling the back of his head as I pull him back to me, our lips meeting in another searing kiss. I open my mouth against his and run my tongue along his top lip, smirking when his hands clamp down on my hips.

Jude pushes up into me, his lips moving against mine as we share breath. I slide against him, breathless, as the other man moves his hands down to my thighs, his fingers digging into jean. I detangle my fingers from Jude's hair to pull at the bottom of his sweater, dragging my fingers up his stomach. Jude's stomach muscles clench underneath my touch and he chokes on a groan. I pull away from Jude's mouth to tear his sweater off of him, watching with satisfaction as he eagerly sheds the clothing. I let his sweater fall to the floor, eyeing the other man's torso greedily.

"Bedroom," I command, leaning towards Jude as a wicked smile lights his face.

"Yes," he whispers, pressing another kiss to my lips.

I slide to the floor, pinned between the table and Jude. Jude pulls my hands from around his neck and pushes them onto the table behind me, covering them with his own hands.

"Jesus, Max," he says, smiling. Jude leans his forehead against mine, looking into my eyes, "you're sure?"

I grin as I slip out from my makeshift cage, grabbing Jude's hands as I start walking backwards towards his bedroom.

"From here on out, Jude," I reply, hooking my fingers into his belt loops, "no more talking."

* * *

An uncomfortable pins and needles sensation in my arm pulls me from my sleep. I start to pull my arm to myself when I glance over, smirking when I see Max's mop of yellow hair not two inches from my face. My arm tingles, reminding me that it is still trapped underneath the other man. I slowly drag my arm to me, holding my breath when Max stirs.

"…stop…" he mumbles, and then promptly turns over onto his side, freeing my arm and me of my problems.

I stretch and rub my arm, waiting for the feeling to return. I try to convince myself that this is normal; Max lying next to me, our legs barely touching as we have obviously ended and will now start another day together.

I think being naked ruins the illusion a bit, though.

I pause, memories from last night flooding my mind. Yesterday when it was so dark, and all I cared about was Max Max _Max_ and having more of him, his body against mine, more of his lips, his teeth, his tongue… My stomach clenches, and I try to put my mind onto other things.

Not that it's so terrible to think about.

Max turns back over so that he's facing me and opens his eyes, squinting at me. I watch, my heart pounding in my chest, as he brings a hand up to wipe his forehead, letting it slide into his hair where he grabs a handful of his yellow locks.

"Morning," he mutters.

"Hi," I reply, my hand resting against my chest.

Max scratches his jaw. A few moments pass by in silence, each of us caught up in our thoughts.

"C'mere," I say, smiling when Max glares at me.

"…why?" he asks suspiciously, and I laugh.

"Just come here," I press, nudging him with my foot.

"Not until you tell me why," Max argues, though he's smiling.

"You stupid toff," I laugh, pulling him to me. Max chuckles and presses himself against my side, his hair tickling my cheek from where his head is resting on my shoulder.

"Are you making an honest girly out of me, Judey?" he asks after a moment, and I snort, ruffling his hair.

"Keep talking weird and I won't."

Max sits up and smoothes his hair back down before leaning over me, a stupid grin on his face.

"Fair enough," he says, and I reach up to cup his cheek, my thumb rubbing over stubble. I smile before Max leans down, his hot breath bouncing off of my lips. I press up into the kiss, moving my hand to rest on the back of the other man's neck.

Max pulls away after only a moment and my eyes open, a slow smile spreading over my lips.

* * *

I seem to have worked myself into quite a routine here.

I chew on my thumbnail anxiously, my foot tapping against the floor. I wish I knew what I was doing by sleeping with Jude. I figure that "it just seemed like a good idea at the time" won't fly when he wakes up expecting… something. Expecting what? I hope to hell that Jude doesn't expect me to fall deeply and madly in love with him.

I hope to hell I didn't ruined something.

I press myself out of the kitchen chair and move towards the counter, my stomach churning. I decide to have a cigarette instead of cereal. Nicotine is, after all, a part of a balanced breakfast.

Jude is asleep in the other room, and I'm making shitty jokes to myself in the kitchen. I drum my fingers on the countertop, wondering what to make of this situation I've managed to put myself into.

I fooled around in college. Who doesn't? But never with my friends; no, for some reason that line was never crossed. What happened to that line? Jude seems to have erased it completely.

I'm bad at holding down relationships. Hell, I'm lousy at it. And for some reason I've always figured that having sex with someone you actually care about denotes a relationship.

Relationships scare the hell out of me. I hate feeling tied down.

My stomach clenches when I hear the doorknob to Jude's room turn, and I look up to see him standing in the doorway. He's wearing jeans and a t-shirt, his hair sticking out at strange angles as he rubs at his eyes.

I move back to my chair, my arm crossed over my stomach as I pretend to be half asleep.

I've been awake for a couple hours, now.

"Max," Jude's voice cuts through the silence, and my shoulders tense up, "…what are you doing?"

"Eating breakfast," I say, raising my hand into the air to show him my cigarette.

Jude walks to stand behind me, and he leans down to lightly kiss the back of my neck.

"Are you okay?" he asks quietly, his hand gripping my shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah…" I reply, turning around to look at him, "No, man, I mean…why wouldn't I be?"

Jude raises his eyebrows, and then smiles before taking a step back.

"Why… Max Carrigan, worried? I've never seen you like this before, mate," he laughs, turning to open the fridge.

"Yeah, well, it's not without good reason," I mumble, hearing the fridge shut. I look up at Jude, who is now holding the carton of orange juice.

"You don't have to do this," he says, shaking his head.

"Yeah, and what's that?" I ask, lighting another cigarette.

"I'm not sure," he admits, raising his eyebrows and frowning, "it…is fun though, yeah?"

I smirk and stand up, watching as Jude takes a few steps towards me.

"Yeah," I admit, closing the distance between us, "it is."

* * *

Max and I sit on either end of the couch in the main room, facing each other. He hands me the joint we've been passing back and forth, his fingers lightly brushing mine.

"You've got the last drag," he notices, grinning as he taps his foot against mine, "you'd better share it."

I smirk as I inhale, our eyes locking as he waits for my invitation. I pull my fingers from my lips and gesture for him to get closer. Max's eyes light up as he crawls down the couch towards me, his hands braced on the armrests on either side of me.

I press my mouth over his, our lips parting as I exhale the smoke. Max inhales and sits back, his ass falling onto my knees, and I decide I like this new seating arrangement and so I place a hand on his hip to prevent him from moving. I allow the other man to snatch whatever's left of the joint from my fingers.

"Mm, yum," Max says, his eyes shining as his lips twist into a smirk. I grip Max's waist and pull him closer so that he's sitting in my lap, laughing when his knees practically hit him in the face. "Sorry, man," he apologizes, chuckling as he presses away from me, "that isn't happening."

Max stands up and stretches, his back cracking. I extend a hand, silently asking him to help me up and smiling when he rolls his eyes. He mumbles under his breath about a lazy ass, good for nothing so and so but moves to help me despite his protests.

Max begins to pull me up but quickly gives up when he realizes I'm heavier than he is. He sets the joint down in the ashtray before grabbing both of my hands and tugging me up, my arms wrapping loosely around his waist as soon as I'm standing in front of the other man.

"What's gonna happen when Luce shows up next week?" he asks as I nuzzle the side of his neck, placing light, airy kisses just below his ear.

I pause and pull back, his deep blue eyes locking once again with mine.

"What?" I ask, chuckling breathlessly, "Does it matter? I mean, Max I thought… I thought we were…"

"Just having fun, I know. And we are," he finishes for me, his eyes narrowing, "but shit, Jude. She is my sister."

I bring my hands up to cup the sides of his face, my chest beginning to ache. A few moments pass in silence until suddenly Max pushes me roughly back, the backs of my knees hitting the couch. I fall so that I'm sitting, my hands gripping the edge of the couch.

"You know what? Forget I said anything," Max amends, grinning as he walks to stand in front of me. I reach for the other man, pulling him down on top of me and crushing our lips together. I wrap my arms around him tightly, feeling his fingers run through my hair.

Max's mouth moves over mine, his tongue brushing against my lips before he bites down lightly on my lower lip. I make a noise in the back of my throat and reach for his belt, feeling his hands work their way down my chest until they rest on top of mine. I glance up quickly, my chest rising and falling heavily.

"I don't want next week to come," I admit, and he laughs.

"Yes you do," he contradicts, reaching in between my arms to grab at my belt, "but until it does," he continues, dipping his fingers below the waistline of my jeans, making my stomach clench, "you're all mine."

* * *

**Questions/Comments/Concerns?**

The End! Hopefully (or not, depending on how you look at it) you'll see me around some more. Thanks for reading!


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